put your hand on the doorknob.

turn it.
walk through it.
you are strong.
you can handle this. 

Fears

so. I am really scared right now.
I checked my lovely heart, and it is resting at a manic 150 bpm, theoretically speaking.
I can’t get out of my head being in the office, in that room, with the door closed, window closed, blinds down, being alone, face-to-face with everything I fear.
I am so easily manipulated. So easily.
and I have to fess up, get this all of my chest, everything for the past year and a half that have been eating me alive. Sucking my joy away, draining me. I have learned so much. How to stop doing things in my own strength, to lean on HIM.
I am a sheep. I am scared. I am timid. I am ignorant.
But I have a shepherd, and things are going to be okay, he is going to take care of me…like he never ceases to do.
And I am scared, but I will be just fine.
After I force myself up the last rugged bit of mountain, I will be at the top, able to see my success; wind on my face, sun to my back. I will be able to breathe, exhale, calm, have comfort. I will be healthy. I will be new.
Renewed.

Random Life Blog.

So I’ll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned.
In awe, of the One who gave it all.
I’ll stand, my soul, Lord, for You surrendered.
All I am is Yours. 
Apart from You I am nothing.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Help me out of this.